On demanding chocolate with menaces.

You love Halloween. What’s not to like? Dressing up, dressing up as a witch, dressing your children up. Chocolate, chocolate in the shape of bats, ghosts, cats and pumpkins. Pumpkins! Pumpkin pie!!!  Hacking a pumpkin about in the name of crafting. Crafting which involves knocking up things to decorate the house with. Decorating the house with inexpertly made items in vaguely the shape of bats, ghosts cats and pumpkins smothered in glitter. It’s all good.

This pumpkin looks more worried that worrying. Eh well.

This year you decided to go a bit more all out than on previous years. The Star is getting to the age where he appreciates a good celebration. So you even had a party a few days before. Quite low key, just you and the neighbours and, more to the point, the neighbours’ children. The Star was a ghost. Much business with the white face paint and a paper table cloth. At the last minute you both decided he was a blood drinking ghost, so you got to add lipstick wildly all over his lower face, which is really playing to your strengths as a make up artist.

You did apple bobbing in the living room. In actual water, and this is where having a baby bath still lying around comes in very handy. Also, many many towels. There’s nothing like the hostess sticking her face in warm water and her bum in the air before spitting quantities of water in the general direction of her guests to really get a party going. The kids were useless – no-one wanted to stick their head underwater – and the Comet just wanted to play. Ah well, maybe next year.

Still what with that, the opportunity to catch up with friends and the fact that you had emptied ASDA of Halloween related snacks and sweets earlier, you had an excellent time. The Star and the Comet seemed to enjoy themselves too.

Yes it is a little burnt. Tastes just fine though.

About the only thing you didn’t do was go trick or treating. You have no objection to trick or treating except that no-one has ever knocked on your door here. It has only just occurred to you that this might be because you live in an upstairs flat and no-one can see your decorations from the street below. Even so, you are thinking of going and bothering your parents’ neighbours next year rather than wander around the other blocks of flats here.

B, however, has a better plan. He figures you should all go off to Kensington* and ring doorbells there. You feel this idea has merit but also that you might need to up the costume ante for such an outing. While you coverted the Star’s all in one bat suit, complete with flared legs and wings bought from a nearly new sale for 50p, and the Comet looks charming in green leggings and a green top as a frog, you really think that extorting money with menaces from the rich and Russian of London demands a higher level of effort than gluing a few sequins onto a silhouette and calling it a mask.

Glue! Glue and glitter! Holidays don’t get much better than that.

You are quite looking forward to rising to the challenge.

And for a second treat: a toddler’s Guide to… Sir John Soane’s Museum.

*Home of the really quite well off for the London-challenged.

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